Bloodtype Online

    A mysterious object crashes in the Arizona Desert and the government sends in a crack team of Marines to investigate.  The marines head down into a mine and are promptly wiped out by something in the mine.  The movie then shifts focus to a group of convicts that are being loaded on a bus for transportation.  In addition to the four prisoners we are introduced to three guards and the prison doctor who is also along for the ride (one of the convicts has a medical condition).  The bus is disabled along the way with a spike to the tire and the prisoners are set free by a couple of chicks who are friends with one of the prisoners.  Of course this doesn’t happen before there is a shoot out that disables the getaway car.  Eventually the group ends up in a deserted town where sure enough they meet up with the aliens and Captain Bradley the lone survivor of the ill-fated marine team.  The rest of the movie follows the group’s attempts to escape from the town before the military bombs it off the face of the planet. 

    Where to start?  Well to begin with the cast is just awful.  The acting is wooden with an overabundance of overacting.  Some of the cast continually stumbles over their lines as if they had only seen the script moments before shooting their scenes.  Speaking of the script it is full of cliché characters spouting off the most inane dialog I’ve heard in a long time.  Let me give you an example of what passes for character development in this steaming pile.  The guards discuss the background of each prisoner as they are marched to the bus while we the audience are treated to terrible flashback sequences.  Yeah it’s that good.  Lets move onto the not so special effects.  This movie makes the critical mistake of overreaching it’s budget in trying to provide not one alien “monster” but several different kinds.  You see it seems that the ship that crashed is in fact was a prison ship (Wow the irony!) filled with intergalactic criminals.  This is a terrible idea if you are a low budget movie because it is going to be hard enough to pull one creature off much less several.  Because of this decision we are treated to bad puppets and guys running around in motorcycle helmets and black jumpsuits.  There are a couple of fairly good looking women in this movie so I had hoped for at least some nudity but even there the filmmakers manage to screw it up.  The only skin we see is the back of what is supposed to be the woman, but is clearly a man in a wig.  How the hell to you screw up the nudity?  Is it that hard to say get nekked and action?  Damn it to hell! 

    Listen I know that the filmmakers were just trying to do a cheesy sci-fi horror film but they failed.  I will admit that this isn’t the worst film that I’ve seen.  Hell it isn’t even the worst that I’ve seen this month.  That being said I still can’t recommend Alien Invasion Arizona.