Bloodtype Online

    Once again in "Bloodtype Land", it's time for another one of our favorite types of film around here. That's right, you guessed it. It's remake time! I hope you all could tell that the tone for that sentence was sarcasm. Anyway, this one's a remake of the 1979 horror film "Amityville Horror" which starred James Streisand, I mean Brolin (sorry had to) and Margot Kidder. I haven't seen the original in quite some time but I remember it being an average horror film and nothing from it being very memorable to me. This release was actually followed by a slew of sequels and even a short lived television series. The original was even nominated for an Oscar for best music, original score. The remake, released in 2005, stars Ryan Reynolds and Melissa George and should be nominated for boredom.

     For those unfamiliar, the story follows the Lutz family and their move into a new home in Long Island, New York. George Lutz (Reynolds) isn't the biological father of the three Lutz children as the former husband of Kathy Lutz had passed away previous to the film's opening. When first visiting the huge old house in Amityville, the realtor actually admits to the couple that the home has a dark past. An entire family was murdered in the house by their own family member, the oldest son, who supposedly said voices had driven him to commit the heinous crime. For some stupid ass reason the Lutz' pretty much ignore that little tidbit of the home's past and decide that it is their dream home.

     Predictably, soon after moving in, weird events begin to occur. The young daughter, Chelsea (portrayed by Chloe Grace Moretz), is the first effected. She soon develops a deep relationship with an imaginary friend named Jodie. Jodie is the spirit of one of the sisters who were killed in the previous tragedy. Of course, at first, Chelsea's friendship with Jodie is ignored but as time goes by she begins getting weirder and weirder stating how Jodie is telling her to do things like climbing on the roof of the house. As this situation is going on, George begins to change also. He begins hearing different voices which slowly cause him to evolve in a negative way. The first major event that occurs, is when a babysitter comes to watch the three Lutz children. The babysitter ends up getting locked in the closet with Jodie and attacked. Soon after this occurs, George really begins to lose it. By this time, Kathy knows that her family is in danger and visits a priest for support. The priest advises her to get her family out of the house. By this time it is pretty much too late as George gives into the voices and goes into Jack Nicholson from "The Shining" mode.

     The film is another horror remake from producer Michael Bay (2005's "Texas Chainsaw Massacre") and is directed by Andrew Douglas. Technically the movie was fine. It was shot on film and is a big budget Hollywood picture so everything from a technical aspect was professional. The performances weren't all that bad either. I like Reynolds as an actor and thought he did a convincing job as George Lutz especially as he evolved from family man to psychopath. Melissa George also did a good job as Kathy, delivering a desperate performance toward the end of the film when her family was in disarray. I briefly mentioned my biggest problem with this film at the beginning of the review when I quipped that it deserved an Oscar for boredom. In a word, the film was just bland. With a big budget including credible stars I don't understand why a more fascinating version of this already well known story couldn't be produced. There wasn't one scene of tension, thrills, or scares. There were a few very brief scenes of potential including a quick flash of a pretty cool looking ghost and some of the scenes with the ghost of Jody and the bullet hole in her head. These portions were for seconds at a time, though, and this is like a 90 minute movie. In the end I thought that this was yet another example of why remakes suck. The few positives I mentioned in this review warranted my additional half star in my rating, but I would recommend staying away from this remake and just going back to the original.

Rating - *1/2

- Jared Bajoras