Bloodtype Online

    This charming little movie examines the day-to-day life of your average inbred cannibal family!  There is grandma, papa, the boys Hubcap and Butternut, Beefteena and of course Sno Cakes who lives in a tent in the back yard.  All the family wants is to be left alone and for people not to pick on their little sister Beefteena.  But when a neighborhood boy is really mean to poor Beefteena her brothers get angry and decide to play with him.  This of course brings the police to the family’s home; so then they have to deal with the sheriff.  But that is okay because they can all come to Beefteena’s birthday party along with the people from the modeling school that were mean to her!  Yeah this is that kind of movie! 

    I would like to give some advice to anyone looking to make a low budget horror movie.  I know that the torture films are in vogue right now and everyone wants to make one of them.  I really don’t mind that sort of movie, but you still need to have a plot and characters that are fun to watch on screen.  If you need an example of why all you have to do is watch this movie.  There is a silly, but cohesive plot that ties this movie together.  Is the movie still just a series of set pieces for the victims to be introduced and killed off?  Yes, but again they are tied together loosely with a narrative here and to me that makes the movie much more fun and easy to watch.  The movie also “borrows” liberally from many of the classics of the genre (ie. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre), but does it with a wink to the viewers.  Now I want to make sure that I’m being clear here that this isn’t a serious horror film.  There is plenty of gore, but this movie is being played for laughs, or at least I think so.  The actors all do a great job in their roles, and are clearly having a blast.  This translates into their performances and makes for a really fun movie watching experience.    

    I really enjoyed the look of the movie.  The exterior scenes look great and the sound is excellent.  Some of the interiors are obviously sets and are dressed in an obvious homage to other horror films.  But they light the sets in such a surreal manner that it works nicely in creating a sort of “cartoon” like feeling.  They aren’t shy with the gore in this movie.  Now there isn’t anything groundbreaking in The Blood Shed, but it is all executed very well.  There are quite a few practical effect shots in this movie and they all come off really well.  If you are a fan of the wet stuff you are going to enjoy this movie. 

    While this movie does have it’s flaws (the final sequence goes on a bit too long for me) it is a damn good movie overall.  If you are a fan of horror comedies that aren’t out to insult your intelligence then I think that you will dig this movie.  I recommend that everyone give The Blood Shed a chance.  I think you will be surprised. 

Rating - ***

-John "El Juan" Shatzer