Bloodtype Online

Pop Cinema

R1 DVD 

    As a movie fan sometimes I want to watch serious movies; you know the sort “this is the most important film blah blah blah”, not a humorous bone in its body, and that’s fine and dandy with me. Sometimes however I just want to watch something that is fun; Re-Animator fun, Bad Taste fun, The motherfucking Blob fun! Something where I can just lounge back, crack a beverage of my choice and let the movie wash over me like some sort of natural brain cell killer. That is by no means any offence meant to the aforementioned movies, I just don’t always want to engage my brain. Anyone got a problem with that? 

    After watching Bacterium it would appear that writer and director Brett Piper has absolutely no problem whatsoever. With this movie he has reminded me of the fun I used to have back in the 80’s (*cough* I’m look far younger than I am *cough*) when I used to hit the video store and just rent whichever movie case caught my eye. This is not a movie to be taken seriously, it’s a bloody good laugh coated with the finest cheese, which with me living in Pennsylvania is just great because they seem to live off the stuff here. 

    In Bacterium three friends manage to stumble into the secret laboratory of a government scientist who, you can tell where this is going, is working on a new biological weapon for the military. Obviously things go right up the shitter, people start melting, quarantine measures are taken, rednecks and bikers get involved and breasts are exposed. Holy shit, what more could you ask for? A helicopter you say? A helicopter you shall have then and they’ll show it to you at every possible opportunity! Wonderful stuff. 

    Bacterium is a real throwback to the days when B Movies were just kick ass entertainment, but still looked like movies; this is a very well made film that doesn’t look like it was shot by a hyperactive teen with a camcorder. This actually does have pretty decent production values, especially when it comes to the morphing parasitic blob thing AKA the bio-weapon. The special effects in general are more than adequate, only occasionally do they look a little iffy. But, I can forgive that because I was having a damned good time watching it. 

    When you are having this much cheese-encrusted fun does it matter how the acting is? Well, yes and no, obviously I don’t want to be watching a movie with acting ripped straight out of an episode of Thunderbirds, but I also don’t expect Pacino-esque over-acting. Just as well really, as the acting here is adequate with the cast throwing in some absolute classic lines that had me laughing out loud. Admittedly they probably weren’t intentional laughs, or maybe they were, but who cares, like I said, the acting was adequate and was just enough for this fun-fest. 

    After watching Bacterium I know I would like to see what Piper could come up with if he was given a decent budget to work with. This is by no means a cheap looking affair; I was actually surprised at how good it did look, but with a bigger budget the mind boggles. 

    So, if you are looking for something to watch with the buddies, a few beers and some nachos look no further, this movie even supplies the cheese for fecks sake! Oh, and don’t be put off by the PG-13 rating as you won’t even care, there’s enough blood guts and boobies here for everyone. This was one enjoyable B movie. 

Rating - ***

- Jude Felton