Bloodtype Online

    It just goes to show that it doesn’t matter where about on the planet you are, you should never stray from the main roads as bad things will no doubt happen to you. Even in Belgium!! That is if the movies are to be believed anyway.  Calvaire is one such picture, although credit to the protagonist he doesn’t take what he thinks is a short-cut; instead he ends up in the arse end of nowhere purely by chance. 

    Marc Stevens is what can be best described as, a cabaret singer, traveling the country performing in what appears to be old folks homes. After one such performance he starts the long journey south in order to perform a Christmas gala.  Before too long the main roads seem to disappear, and he is left making his way down a long winding country road enshrouded in fog. But, he does what you would think is the sensible thing and pulls over to study his map. I say that you would think it is sensible; unfortunately his van won’t start up again, leaving him stranded with the night closing in. 

    Whilst stuck here a figure appears from the darkness asking if he has seen his pet dog. Well, he saw something, whether it was a dog or not he is not so sure.  Realizing he could well be stuck here for quite some time he asks the stranger if he knows where a nearby inn is that he saw signposted. The stranger agrees to help, so off he treks along with the stranger into the woods. It is when he finally arrives at the inn that things will eventually take a turn for the worse, and quite frankly the surreal. 

    On the surface Calvaire comes across as yet another survival horror movie, and for all intensive purposes it is. Yet this came across to me as far creepier than many I have seen in the past. More inline with the recent Sheitan than say something like Deliverance, although it does share some similarities with the latter. It doesn’t always make perfect sense even though the story is fairly straightforward. 

    Violent in places, but never overtly graphic, creepy but not downright scary, Calvaire is one of those movies where you’re either going to go with the flow and enjoy the hell out of it, as I did. Or, you’ll probably just sit there saying “what the fuck was that all about?” This won’t float everyone’s boat that is for sure. 

    Personally I thought all the performances were fantastic, from the naïve innocence of Marc, to the wholly fucked up innkeeper and villagers, all were believable in their roles. Add to this some truly creepy sequences, the bar scene for instance is creepy for no reason other than the fact it is, and some picturesque cinematography, along with a taut script that never lets the story flag, and you have yet another solid entry in the current crop of decent European horror flicks. I’ll be very interested to see what director Fabrice Du Welz comes up with next.  If you can imagine Straw Dogs, Twin Peaks and Deliverance all thrown in a blender then the end result could well look a little like Calvaire. A slow-burning nasty little gem indeed. 

Rating - ***

-Jude Felton