Bloodtype Online
For the best of the Horror/Cult/Exploitation film experience
Volume Nine
Eat My Dust
Welcome to Puckerbush County & perhaps the biggest cast of doo-fi to ever grace a movie screen. Now, that’s not a knock against anyone’s acting, just the characters they play.
Hoover Niebold (Ron Howard) is a restroom towel changer, wannabe stock car racer. One day he and a bunch of his friends crash the local races and Hoover steals ‘Big Bubba’ Jones’ car. ‘Big Bubba’ (Dave Madden, Reuben Kincaid of The Partridge Family) is the big champion, the man with the fastest car. It’s in an effort to win over hot-ass Darlene that Hoover steals the car.
With the police in hot pursuit, the gang manages to narrowly escape the long arm of the law, in the process picking up another friend, Junior Hale- broken leg and all. Junior brings along a shotgun- its Pheasant season after all, and the crew is on their way. A side note: Juniors’ foot looks to be the size of a freakin’ clown shoe!
In their travels, Hoover has tough decisions to make, like whether or not to go through Cheeseburg or East Cheeseburg. SPOILER: They elect to go through Cheeseburg. They pick up an old man carrying two sacks of groceries. One more clown in the clown car. They face more pursuit and when the chase ends, the old man cries- “I’m going senile, my heart, my heart, I’m going senile!”
Eventually the cops enlist the help of several drunken race car drivers to snare Hoover. Coincidentally, Hoover’s pa is the sheriff of Puckerbush.
Eat My Dust is a family affair. Besides Ron Howard, it also features Brother Clint and Father Rance. This is the first movie I ever saw at the Drive-In. It’s completely insane and also one of the cheesiest, fun movies I’ve ever had the pleasure of seeing. And it’s that cheesy charm that still holds up after all these years.
One last thing…what in the hell is up with the shadowy hands on the cell door window?
Grand Theft Auto
The Howard family returns, joined this time by Ron’s “Happy Days” co-star, Marion Ross.
Bigby Ross is running for Governor of California. His daughter in turn is running from him. Why? She’s in love with Sam Freeman (Ron Howard) but supposedly engaged- an engagement of sorts- to Collins Hedgeworth. Apparently Sam is not good or rich enough for Bigby’s daughter Paula. So, they take to the road, heading to Vegas to get hitched. Paula steals daddy’s Rolls Royce and she and Sam are on their way.
Bigby offers up a reward for Paula’s (and the Rolls’) return…$25K…it’s put out over the local radio show and everyone within earshot is on their tail. Enter Collins Wedgeworth. He hears about the lovebirds and believing Paula has been kidnapped takes to the road to rescue his love. Collins mother (Ross) wants to save her baby from harm and offers up and additional $25 thousand. The pursuit is full blast now as all manner of greedy folk try to stop the trio from reaching their destination.
This film marks Ron Howard’s directorial debut, and the first time I, I have ever seen a Rolls Royce go airborne. It’s also involved in a demolition derby! Written by Ron & father Rance- how they dare infuse meaningful dialogue into the script- and produced by Roger Corman, we got another fun drive-in movie.
And just to keep the Corman train o’ fun on track, I give you:
Hollywood Boulevard
On the set of Miracle Pictures’ new blockbuster, there’s a dilemma: to pump up the crucifixion scene with more laughs or more sex. Then, a stuntwoman dies.
Welcome to Hollywood, Candy Hope: a- wishing- upon- a- star, young lass all the way from Indianapolis. Dreaming of one day becoming the next big thing she quickly becomes involved with talent super-agent, Walter Paisley (Dick Miller). Paisley’s quick with the advice, such as suggesting Candy change her name to something a little catchier- say…January Wednesday.
Candy meets up with a couple up & coming filmmakers who want her to be in their latest- a low budget, modern day Bonnie & Clyde flick. All she has to do to get in is have her own car. She does. Soon the cops are on her tail as the filmmakers turn out to be nothing more than a couple of hoods.
Candy lands on her feet however, by getting a job working on the aforementioned Miracle Pictures movie, as a stunt girl, filling in for superstar Mary McQueen (Mary Woronov). Of course she happily accepts the role and the “accidental” deaths continue.
I can’t say enough how much I like this movie. You get Roller Derby, many references to Roger Corman movies, Commander Cody and the band strike up “Everybody’s Doin’ It” a song that needs to be heard, boobs galore and well….boobs, what more do you want. This is really a funny movie.
