For the best of the Horror/Cult/Exploitation film experience
Troll 2 (1990) - (Blu-ray)
I remember in my younger days coming home from school and catching all kinds of movies on HBO. Every genre under the sun was covered and I found many films this way that I wouldn’t have found otherwise. One of the most infamous films that was showed at the time was a film called “Troll 2 , which I had actually avoided a few times because I didn’t see the original. Until one day after school where a friend of mine explained it as the worst movie he’d ever seen. What you have to realize is that me and this friend were obsessed with bad movies at the time and as one of our weekly viewing habits were to watch Thursday Night Prime on HBO which was a program where they played B-Action films that we loved. So after his ringing endorsement of this “Troll 2 I went home and there it was, showing about twenty minutes after I got home or so and I couldn’t wait. I wasn’t disappointed in the least either as it was easily one of the strangest, most inept films I had ever sat through and that was long before I had ever even thought of writing about a movie. Here I am about 18 years later and I just sat through the movie again, this time on the Blu-ray format (which is a weird enough thought itself).
“Troll 2 is about your average middle class family who decides to take a trip to a place called Nilbog (Goblin spelled backwards). Only the youngest child Josh is consistently being warned about going there by his deceased Grandpa Seth (who makes the most random appearances ever). Of course, Josh’s family treats him like his either stupid or retarded and basically ignore the child’s warnings. But the fact of the matter is that there is something strange going on in the town of Nilbog and it directly involves Josh and his family.
First off I can by no means ever claim that this is a good film. It’s one of the goofiest experiences you could ever have watching anything and watching it sober could possibly cause your brain cells to go and commit suicide. But if you enjoy watching bad movies that are a lot of fun, then this is the movie for you. It’s made quite poorly with little attention to detail, dialog, or just about anything that really makes a film good. The funny thing about this all is that director Claudio Fragasso views the film as a series piece of horror filmmaking. It’s like everyone in the world (including the cast) is in on the joke and he simply isn’t. Either way, the movie is a blast if you are just looking for a brainless good time, but if you yearn for more you are going to be greatly disappointed here.
Just to give everyone reading this an idea of what type of movie we’re dealing with, let me just explain a few things before we move on. First off, there isn’t a single troll in the entire movie. Yep, not one....they are goblin like creatures. Well in actuality they are midgets in bad costumes. Second, the plot of the movie makes very little sense....at all. The movie is just a mashup of ideas that were spewed onto film and that’s exactly what it feels like when you watch it. I imagine the feeling you get watching “Troll 2 would be similar to sitting down to watch something and your brain breaks in the middle. Basically you sit there trying to assess what the hell is happening, but then you realize that the only thing that will help you would be drugs or alcohol. Regardless, you’ll never have another experience quite like it.
Something else that I guess should be mentioned in this review is that the acting in “Troll 2 is just terrible. But that doesn’t mean that it ruins anything. Seriously this movie is so bad itself that the poor acting actually makes it a bit entertaining. One of my personal favorites here is George Hardy who plays Michael (or the dad of the family) in the film. His performance is so weird and off kilter that he’s a blast to watch just about every time he shows up on screen. The rest of the family is just as weird and awkward as he is, but it makes it all that much more fun. This movie features a scene where the family is in a car driving to Nilbog and the mom actually asks Josh to “sing a song, you know the one I like” which actually is Row Row Row Your Boat In other words, how can we sing a song here that we don’t have to pay rights for?
Strangely enough “Troll 2 actually does look pretty good on the Blu-ray format. I was amazed at how good it looked for something so terribly made. Some people might be disappointed that there are a severe lack of special features. It would have been nice if they could have added the “Best Worst Movie” documentary about “Troll 2 on here but it’s still doing it’s rounds in theaters all over the US. I’m sure we’ll see it on BD and DVD eventually, but I think it would have been a nicer overall package if it was added on here. Or could they at least have put a trailer for it on this BD?
Overall I would never recommend anyone check out “Troll 2 as it’s a total mess of a film. But I have to say that I actually do like it for what it is. So understand that I can’t really rate the film high, but if you are in the mood to quite possibly watch the dumbest movie ever made then check it out. That should be enough reason right there to see this if you already haven’t.
Rating - *
Blu-ray Rating - **